


Four times Levi called Hanji by their name

by gaiarcane



Series: the mundanity of domesticity [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Non-Binary Character, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, F/M, graphic depiction of violence is for a wound, they them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-04-22 23:25:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19138954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaiarcane/pseuds/gaiarcane
Summary: a study in levi and hanji





	1. 1.

The first time Levi called Hanji by their name was after Farlan and Isabel died.

Sure, it wasn't ideal. Levi was torn between grief and anger. Anger towards Nicholas Rovoff, towards Erwin Smith, towards titans, towards the entire world. So when the tall brunette sat with him in the canteen where they ate, Levi did absolutely no effort to hide the fact that he wanted to sit alone. Didn't look up, didn't smile, didn't say _anything_.

Yet Hanji completely ignored this.

Putting their tray in front of his, they plopped down on the bench opposite him and started munching on their bread, talking nonsense about titans and experiments they would conduct when they'd rank up to captain, squad leader or even _commander of the survey corps_.

 It went on for ages, and Levi didn't have the energy to stop it. Whatever they were talking about, Hanji was enthusiastic.

Well, they always were, to be honest. Even when they first met, Hanji had been loud and too cheerful to his taste. Him, who enjoyed privacy and silence, found himself unsettled by the young soldier.

“Hanji, right?” Levi asked after a while.

Hanji blinked. “Yes!” They blurted out. “I'm surprised you remembered.”

 _Of course he did_. Yes, they were loud and kind of annoying with their ~~love~~ interest for titans, but they were the _only_ person that didn't stare at him with pity in their eyes. Even when Farlan and Isabel were still _alive_ , pity was seemingly not what had motivated them to talk to the three newly recruited soldiers shortly after they had integrated the survey corps.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi spat out.

Hanji tilted their head. “I'm... eating?” They asked, uncertain what Levi's point was.

“We're not friends.” Levi uttered. “We're not even comrades. We've barely spoken to each other before. And now you're sitting at my table, as if we knew each other.”

 _This is the longest time I've heard him speak_ , Hanji noticed, but didn't comment on it. He would storm out of the room if they did.

“For my defense, this isn't _your_ table.” Hanji playfully argued, and Levi indeed stood up, taking his tray with him as he began to leave.

Hanji grabbed his arm before he could disappear. “I was joking, alright? Please sit.” They begged, and he surrendered. He _knew_ he couldn't walk away from this one.

“What do you want?” Levi sighed as he sat back down.

Hanji's answer was simple. “I just wanted to talk.” They informed him, and Levi narrowed his eyes. _Something_ _felt off_ _._ Even though Hanji was not motivated by pity, they _had_ to want something from him, he knew it.

“I'm not one of your experiments.” He stated, and Hanji actually got surprised by what he said, as if they hadn't considered it.

Then, they smiled. “Ah, I have to admit that I wish you were.” Hanji confessed. “When I see you soaring in the sky with your 3D maneuver gear, I can't help but wonder how can someone who was never trained manage to be better than all of us combined.”

“I told you,” Levi reminded them, “It's not something than can be taught. Which means there is nothing I can tell you, so this conversation is over.”

But Hanji trailed behind him as he walked away, emptied his tray and headed for the barracks. Silent yet loud, they followed him without saying a word, at least, until they arrived to Levi’s dorm. There, Levi fiddled with his keys, trying to find the right one, and Hanji simply watched. When Levi finally managed to open the door, Hanji let themselves in, plopping down on his bunk bed with a sigh.

And then sat right up when Levi glared daggers at them.

“ _Four-eyes_.”

“Right, I know.” Hanji said, putting their feet down. “Shoes off the bed.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Levi opened his closet, took his survey corps cloak and then closed it. Hanji still had not moved, perched on his bed, definitely not ready to move.

“I told you I taught myself to use the 3D maneuver gear, I can’t help you.” Levi said as he wrapped his cloak around his shoulders. “Now leave.”

“Ah sorry, I didn’t want to talk about that.” Hanji replied, and Levi’s brows furrowed even harder.

“What did you want to talk about, then?” Levi asked, curious as to why the _bloody_ four-eyes would follow them to his room if it weren’t about that.

Hanji hesitated before they answered, and Levi knew something was off. And he was right.

“Your friends, the two who-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Levi interrupted them, definitely _not_ liking where this conversation was going.

The other soldier did not falter, determination still visible in their gaze. “I didn’t mean to-”

But it was too late for Levi, who deemed that Hanji had crossed a line that _shouldn’t be crossed._ At the speed _only him_ could attain, he took a knife from god knows where and aimed it at the other person in the room, watching their eyes slide from his face to the blade in front of them.

“Shut. The fuck. Up.” He ordered.

“Did you manage to recover their belongings?”

“Huh?” Levi blurted out, surprised by the unexpected question. When Levi stared at Hanji, waiting for an explanation, they slowly raised their hands up, one of them moving towards the pocket inside their jacket.

“It may be hard to believe, but I wasn’t ransacking anyone.” Hanji explained, and Levi had a feeling Hanji _was_ ransacking.

“Your nosiness will kill you.” Levi declared as he put his knife away.

Hanji took this as a challenge. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“A prediction, I'd say.”

Hanji laughed, and if Levi wasn’t so _tense_ , he would have laughed too. He had barely known them for a few months but he was already aware that the shitty four-eyes did not like to mind their own business.

“I had hoped exhaustion from titans research would kill me, but I guess you don't get what you want in life.” Hanji stated, finally taking out whatever they had been searching from inside their pocket. “Anyway, I found this, and I remembered that it belonged to your friend. I figured you might want to hold onto it.”

When Levi looked down, he saw a necklace in Hanji’s outstretched hand. The small silver thread had a ring tied to it, and Levi recognized it as Isabel’s. Ever since he had met her, the young girl had worn it around her neck, and it was only now that he realized he had never asked her about it.

Taking the necklace in his hands, he moved the ring, attempting to see if there was something written inside, of it, but he found nothing. _Well, it didn’t matter anymore, since she was-_

“… and he tells me that I’m not supposed to be here so I answer that I am actually allowed in the room but he notices that I’m lying so he threatens to warn the commander so I-”

“Hanji.” Levi cut them abruptly, interrupting their explanation _that he did not actually listen to_. Hanji looked up, staring at Levi, and awaiting another row of insults.

But what came was quite different.

“Thank you.” Levi said with utter sincerity, and the answer outright _surprised_ Hanji, who did not know what to answer. Something flashed in their eyes, something akin to concern, but it was quickly replaced by malice.

“You’re welcome, short stuff.” They replied as they turned around, and then opened the door. “See you on the training field.”

Then they left the room, leaving Levi with nothing else but nostalgia and _regret_.


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR SPOILERS for the latest episodes of attack on titan season 3 part 2 (around chapter 83 I think?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER WARNING AGAIN SNK CHAPTER 83

Levi called Hanji by their name many other times, either to get their attention or to make them understand that he was serious. And when he wasn't, he called them names.

It was his way to do things, and Hanji was not the only one to endure this treatment. Levi squad, _when they were still alive_ , all had their own nicknames attributed by their captain. If you did not have a nickname, it meant that Levi did not like you that much.

Despite how rude his nicknames sounded, they were much more like terms of endearment than actual insults.

But the second time Levi called Hanji by their name _seriously_ was after Erwin died.

Well, he had called them by their name on the rooftop of a house in Shiganshina, when they had appeared out of nowhere to save him, _alive_ and well, yet injured and weaker than usual.

Which was normal. They were all weak, they all had been through hell, and had now to face the aftermath of the battle: the survey corps had been decimated, its very _soul_ was dead, and they had lost the armored titan.

But it was an equivalent exchange. They had gained the colossal titan, had managed to close the breach in Wall Maria, and had learned that their enemies were not only _titans_ , but other humans far beyond the walls.

Naturally, when they came back to Wall Sina, the nine remaining soldiers of the survey corps were acclaimed like heroes, though none of them felt that they were.

On the contrary, they could all agree it was a miracle they had made it that far without losing their lives.

Well, some of them had lost a part of it.

Hanji walked head first into a door, hissing in pain as they backed off. For sure, it wasn’t the first time a door had hit their face, but it was the first time since _they only had one eye_.

“Four-eyes.” Levi said, appearing out of nowhere. “What are you doing?”

Hanji turned around, bumping against something smaller on their left. Levi stood there, his eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed.

 _Well, typical Levi,_ Hanji thought.

“Ah sorry,” Hanji apologized. “Didn’t see you.”

“Didn’t see the door either?”

“You’re quite harsh with your one-eyed commander.” Hanji commented, amused.

Levi tsked. He followed them inside their new office, which used to be _Erwin’s._ The room definitely wasn’t new to them, for the two had spent quite some time in there, but there was a difference between being invited in the said office and actually _belonging_ in the office, as its owner.

At least, that’s how Hanji felt.

But given how Levi let his hand linger on the wooden desk, for once ignoring the layer of dust that sat upon it, they didn’t doubt Levi felt the same.

Hanji dropped a pile of files on it, and Levi could hear by the sound they made when they hit the wood that the commander was already _exhausted_ by the paperwork. They sat in their chair right after, sighing when they realized the pile was taller than _Levi_ when he was sitting in the couch opposite the desk.

A demon for the job, indeed.

Most of it were reports they had to read, check and sign, yet Hanji had no motivation nor courage to do it. Folding their arms on the table, they let their chin rest on their forearms, watching the soldier in front of them, who was quietly reading a report of his own.

Then, it hit them.

Levi was _never_ in their office. If anything, he _avoided_ the rooms where they were.

Hanji thought it was because he hated how messy their lab was, or because he wanted to avoid their passionate one-sided conversations about titans.

Yet the captain sat there, in their office, barely three meters away from them, looking almost _peaceful_. Brows _slightly_ less furrowed than usual.

Curiosity was itching Hanji.

“Say Levi, why aren’t you-”

“My office was moved.” Levi immediately replied, eyes still glued to his report. “I need to ask for a new one tomorrow.”

The answer did not tame Hanji’s curiosity: on the contrary, it fueled it.

“So you’re staying here.” Hanji stated, though it was more of a question than a statement. It was meant to be understood as “why here of all places? Why me and not another random soldier? Don’t you find me troublesome and -”

“I can’t bother anyone else at this hour.” Levi stated matter-of-factly, turning a page of his report in the process.

 _Of course_ , he would answer that. Levi did not speak much, therefore it was hard to guess what he was thinking about, but sometimes, Hanji liked to think that they could read right _through_ him. Is there no better claim than to say that the mind of the great Levi Ackerman is like an open book to you?

This depended on the situation, of course.

Levi was a mystery to many. Especially since they came back, and since he had been _assaulted_ with questions.

The higher-ups who knew about the injection obviously asked Levi why he had chosen Armin instead of Erwin, which was, according to Hanji who had asked themselves the same thing, a valid question. Though Armin was a very valuable element and had a promising future, Erwin was the one who gave a meaning to the survey corps.

And when Levi dodged the interrogations, Hanji stood by his side, silently supporting him.

Of course, there was nothing Zackley and co. could do now, after the choice had been made. It had been Levi’s argument, along with the fact that Erwin had entrusted the serum to him and he had chosen, and that was all.

But none of them understood that Levi had finally released Erwin from his role as a demon.

Hanji did. They _knew_ Shiganshina had to be Erwin’s final resting place. Knew how exhausted Erwin was, and how important finding the basement was to him. But the two veterans understood the selfishness in the act of bringing him back solely for their own purpose, and allowed the man some rest.

And nothing could be done about that. No regret could bring back the great Erwin Smith. All there was left to do was to move forward.

Besides, with everything they had learned, the higher-ups had far more other things to take care of.

“...knew you would not go to the infirmary.” Levi stated, suddenly closer than before. Without Hanji noticing it, he had crossed the distance between them to stand near the commander, and was now tilting their head upwards, with two fingers on their chin.

“Did you now?” was Hanji’s response, automatic because they had not listened to whatever had been said before.

“Once a shitty four-eyes, always a shitty four-eyes.” Levi reminded them, and Hanji laughed. “Move your legs.”

Hanji did as they were told, and Levi slotted his foot in the space between their thighs and sat on their desk. They figured out their wound must have reopened itself, or that at least something was wrong with their eye, because Levi was looking at them with _concern_. The ruder the captain was, the more worried he actually was.

“Have you had it checked? The wound.” Levi asked as he took their glasses off, put them on the desk, and let his hands wander in their ponytail to find the spot where their bandage had been secured.

Their hair was dirty, it had to be. Yet Levi roamed his hands through it, unbothered by the filth and blood that, for some reason, did not want to leave them.

“No, and I don’t want to.” Hanji replied as Levi unwrapped the bandages around their head, and they were still able to smell the soap from the captain’s clean hands.

He let go of the bandages to stare at them with a gaze full of judgment. “Four-eyes, you can’t-”

“What are they going to say to me?” Hanji interrupted him. “Sorry you lost your eye, may I recommend you an eye-patch brand?”

Levi chuckled, and Hanji realized they had _missed_ that sound. Hanji closed their eyes while Levi sprayed saline over their left eyelid carefully.

“You would look good with an eye-patch, though.” Levi stated.

The statement surprised the commander, who almost tried to open their right eye, but refrained themselves from doing so. Levi applied something cold on their left eye, probably white petroleum, with what seemed to be a Q-tip.

“Would I?” Hanji joked.

Levi hummed. “You’d rock it.”

“Don’t give me ideas.”

Levi did not answer. Instead, he opened a clean gauze pad, and put it on Hanji’s left eye carefully. “I guess I have to stick with four-eyes, though. Three eyes doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

“How about… Hanji Zoe, commander of the survey corps? How does that sound?” Hanji exclaimed, and was met with a disapproving stare when they opened their eye.

Levi wrapped a roll of bandages around Hanji’s head, under their fringe, and circling their hair that was tied up into a messy ponytail, _as usual_.

“Are you frowning because it sounds ridiculous or because the wound really looks that bad?” Hanji wondered, and Levi snorted.

Once the gauze pad was secure, Levi pulled on the top of Hanji’s ponytail, tightening it. “I’m always frowning, shitty glasses.”

“True. You should try smiling, sometimes.”

“No thank you.” Levi replied, his fingers running through Hanji’s fringe to untangle the innumerable knots in it. It was a habit of his. Whenever he came to their lab, desk, or room, he tidied up without even noticing it. Picked up the books that had fallen from their nightstand, opened the windows when it was too hot, and sometimes, brushed their hair when they had just come out of the shower.

None of them spoke for a while, sitting in comfortable silence in each other’s company. It often happened with Levi, who wasn’t much of a chatter. Humanity’s best preferred actions to words, and kept most things to himself.

As his fingers ran through their hair one last time, Hanji asked a question.

“So, how does it look?”

Levi took time to reply. Well, it was like any other injury: ugly. Were it not on their eye but on their arm, leg or torso, it would look as ugly. But it was troublesome, for it lied on their eye.

“I’ve seen worse.” Levi replied truthfully, and Hanji didn’t ask anything else.

Hanji expected Levi to leave, but Levi did not. Instead, he pulled something out of his pocket, staring at the item in his hands, and Hanji stared at it too.

It was Erwin’s bolo tie.

Well, it had been passed down to all the commanders of the survey corps, but to both of them, it was Erwin’s.

And now, it was Hanji’s.

“Where did you find it?” Hanji asked, certain that they had put it in their pocket, a couple of days ago, right after they had returned to Wall Sina.

Levi tsked. “You dropped it.” He informed them, and Hanji was not surprised. They seemed to lose a lot of things, recently.

Before Hanji could add anything, Levi took the bolo tie, put it around Hanji’s neck, and slid the clasp all the way to the top. His fingers lingered on the emerald stone, tracing its surface while he stayed silent.

“Can’t be a proper commander without this piece of junk.” Levi stated as he let go of the bolo tie. “I don’t like it, but it suits you.”

Hanji tilted their head. “Why don’t you like it?”

“I’ve got a nasty feeling about it.” Levi declared as he hopped off the desk and returned to the couch. “I mean, it’s like whoever wears this brings death to those surrounding them, then to themselves.”

The commander put their glasses back on, left their desk and plopped down on the couch next to Levi. “You make it sound like a curse.” They commented with a chuckle.

However, Levi did not chuckle. He played with the hem of his own jacket, picking at a spot on the inside of his sleeve. That’s when Hanji realized Levi was serious.

“Are you trying to scare me? I've borne the title since Erwin lost his arm, you know. This is...” Hanji stated, taking the bolo tie with their index and thumb to stare at it, then let it fall back on their chest, “...merely an object.”

Levi did not immediately reply, eyes avoiding Hanji’s gaze, and they knew the captain was struggling to find his words. He had been working on it, since Hanji could not always be there to translate the actual intentions between his curses and odd ways to encourage people, leaving him to work on himself and his way to speak.

“You don't have to carry this burden.” Levi finally declared, looking up to meet his commander’s eyes, and Hanji let out the breath they didn’t realize they had been holding in. “We’re old, we’ve served our time already. You could retire, pass your title on to Arlelt, or Jean. He’s gotten pretty good at-”

“Do _you_ want to retire?” Hanji cut him, and the question startled Levi so much that he lowered his eyes and furrowed his brows, trying to find an answer.

In all honesty, Hanji didn’t want to retire. Yes, they were old, yes, they were veterans, but stopping now, after such a discovery? It felt impossible to them. Their journey had just started.

“I go wherever you go, you know.” Levi declared after a few seconds of silence. “So unless you're retiring, then I'm not going anywhere.”

Hanji was glad to hear that. Yet in their mind flashed the idea of the two of them, terribly old and full of wrinkles, brown hair turned white and hands too shaky to hold a blade. They would had to stop at some point, they thought.

If they survived through it, that is.

“But we could still do that, you know?” Hanji began and Levi looked up. “When this is all over and we solve the titan problem. Think about it. In a small cottage, isolated from the rest of the world, where you could drink all the tea you want and I could experiment all day. Wouldn't that be great?”

“We?” was Levi’s sole answer.

Hanji chuckled. _Of course_ the fact that they said ‘we’ was the only thing Levi had picked up from their little suggestion.

“Well, I won't be able to clean the whole damn house if you're not here.” Hanji replied, and Levi snorted.

“You're shit at cleaning anyways.”

 _Fair point_ , Hanji thought.

Levi stood up and stretched. Hanji watched him silently, which made the captain look back at them. In a silent exchange, Levi asked Hanji what they were looking at, and Hanji had answered that it was nothing.

That was the way they worked. Not really telepathy, but intense understanding of the other.

“Aren’t you going to the meeting?” Levi asked, a hand on his hip as he stared at the commander.

“I’ll be there before it starts.” Hanji informed him. “Don’t wait for me.”

Nodding, Levi walked towards the door, but stopped as he realized _something_ , Hanji figured. Whatever it could be, it was enough to make him back up and turn to face the commander as he put his right hand on the door frame.

“Hanji?” Levi asked, and Hanji noticed that his voice had become as small as him, somehow.

When Hanji met his gaze, humanity’s best _looked away_.

Hanji braced themselves for what was about to come.

“I’m glad you made it.” Levi admitted, _more like confessed_ , and Hanji was breathless.

Because sweetness, when unexpected, was kind of great. Hanji disliked fake bouts of affection, judging them hypocritical. But when it came from Levi, given how often he showed how much he truly cared (this was ironical, of course), it was worth more than anything else in the world.

Quickly getting a hold on their emotions, Hanji smiled as they answered.

“I’m glad I made it too.”

Because there was no doubt Levi would have made it back home, despite how powerful the Beast Titan was. Because it was his duty, as humanity’s best, to return to the base alive, regardless of who his enemies were or what stood in his way. And because it was actually Hanji tagging along, trying their best to survive.

All those reasons were why Hanji did not say “ _we_ made it”.

And Levi understood. _Of course he did_. Cut those two’s tongues, they would still be able to understand each other perfectly, and that was simply how things  _were_.

The next day, Levi did not ask for a new office. He did not need a new office when there was a spot for him right there, in front of Hanji’s desk.

Next to Hanji, that was where he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was painful to write because MOTIVATION left me right when i needed it but good news i actually wrote the 3rd part BEFORE this one but it did not make sense soooo part 3 should be coming right up (if anybody's reading this)


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS CHAPTER 83/84/85/86 !!!!!! basically for the return to shiganshina arc and what follows

The third time it happened was during a freezing night, when everyone was asleep. The two veterans were facing each other in Hanji’s lab, Hanji on a stool and Levi in Hanji’s chair, at their desk.

Despite Hanji’s _promotion_ to commander of the survey corps, they had managed to keep their lab. It ended up being the place where they most stayed, because it was closer than their office, but also because their office was not _truly_ theirs; it was Erwin’s, and would always be.  
  
“Hanji, it’s _cold_.”  
  
“I know, idiot. Stop squirming.”  
  
The latex gloves were achingly cold against his skin, and though Hanji had tried their best to warm him up, the iciness of the night seemed to have reached his bones.

Levi had stumbled inside their office half an hour earlier, legs wobbly and grey shirt drenched in blood, which, at first, he had assured them it wasn’t his.

But of course, Hanji discovered that he had lied.

It took some time for Levi to finally let Hanji check his injuries, and when he finally did, Hanji outright _cursed_.

“For god’s sake Levi, how long have you had that?!”

The answer was merely a sound between a sigh and a groan of pain.

Hanji investigated no more. Slowly leading the soldier towards their desk, they forced him to sit down, a hand on the shoulder opposite the one that was probably bearing an open wound given how _heavily_ it bled. With utter care, they removed Levi’s survey corps jacket, and made their way through the buttons of his shirt, hissing in disgust when they finally saw the wound underneath the cloth.

Hanji washed the blood away, and Levi didn’t move nor wince. Their guess was that the captain was used to suffering, which made them both sad and _angry_.

This was something that happened whenever Levi came up to them with a wound, when he was too lazy to go to the infirmary, and also perhaps, when he wanted someone _close_ he could talk to, not just a newbie with a ton of questions for the man who was as strong as an entire brigade.

Every time, Hanji gets to see the human skin underneath the warrior facade, all scarred and bloody, yet warm to the touch. They get a glimpse into a certain vulnerability so rarely shown to the world, sacrificed so he could be the most efficient fighter. Humanity's best.

Hanji wasn't present when most of those scars occurred. But they were the one who patched him up every time they could.

For several reasons.

One of them being that Levi and Hanji may not have been close at first, but the loss of their comrades gradually brought them together.

Hanji, well, because they _needed_ someone to ground them down to earth. For one of the two remaining veterans of the survey corps, they liked to put their life at stake a bit _too often_ , to Levi's taste. Whether it was standing too close to a captured titan or forgetting to perform human functions such as eating, Hanji _could not_ be left alone to take care of themselves.

This task used to be poor Moblit's job, and whether he was simply an assistant, a friend, or _something more_ , he had one duty: to stop the squad leader's recklessness whenever it could cost them their life.

And that's what had cost him his.

Of course, Hanji wasn't oblivious to that. They were perfectly aware of the sacrifice Moblit, and countless others, had done for them. Had cried about it a couple of times, like when they realized the cup of tea their assistant usually brought them was gone, _and so was he_.

But grief had quickly been replaced by eagerness to discover who their enemies were and how they could eliminate them. Hanji had the utter desire to prove that all their comrades hadn't died in vain.

And of course, Levi had the same wish. Yet, he could restrain himself.

He was rational.

Hanji wasn't.

They were aware of how dangerous they were for themselves, sometimes, but couldn't stop. When facing an enemy as unknown as theirs, losing an arm, a leg, or a life was a mere obstacle standing on their path towards the truth.

And since Moblit wasn't there anymore to remind them, they often ended up being scolded by Levi himself about how irresponsible they were, or how dangerous it was to approach a 15-meter titan barely restrained _just for the sake of your bloody science._

And every time Levi ended up in Hanji’s lab, injured and bleeding, they were reminded that he was human, _too_.

It felt surreal to say. After all he had endured, he was still alive and kicking. Still the best soldier humanity had known. Unrivaled, invincible, one could almost forget that he was, underneath the 3DMG and the survey corps' uniform, made of flesh and bones.

But Hanji never forgot.

Being the closest to humanity's best taught them that. Of course, they would never say it out loud.

Firstly, because Levi would cut them up, and secondly because they liked the little secrecy in what they did. Even the kids from the 104th didn't know about it.

After all, what was there to know? Nothing _actually_ happened, in most people's eyes at least.

But for Hanji, something as simple as a hand resting longer on a shoulder, or even his simple silent presence while they're stuck in their office behind piles of papers, _mattered_.

It mattered more than it should, but since they vowed to dedicate their heart and life to humanity, Hanji had learned to pay attention to small things like that, for it could be the last time it ever occurred.  
  
With time, Levi began coming to their office more often. Came in with a report, walked out with Hanji's head under his elbow, forcefully dragging them to the nearest bathtub he could find.

Hanji didn't mind. It felt nice to see people, to go back to their life when they were only soldiers and not just veterans, to come back to that time when they had seen less atrocities and lost less people, comrades, friends.

Besides, Levi was a great friend. Hanji had always known that. Kind of a brute, _a bit less with them_ , but always meant well. He was caring in his own, original way.

And though Hanji struggled to care for themselves, they tried to return the gesture as much as they could, without bothering humanity’s best or making him feel awkward.

With Moblit, it was simple. A hug was enough to thank the squad leader’s assistant, who blushed and told them he was just doing his job. From the beginning, Hanji supposed Levi was not fond of hugs, therefore they opted for a more practical form of affection, which was happening at the moment.

Hanji used tissue forceps to expose the side of the wound they began the suture on, which was, according to them, quite deep, but according to Levi, “just a scratch”. Then, they pushed the needle through his skin, right above the fat, if it could be called that way. Levi was nothing but muscles, a consequence of his extensive usage of his vertical maneuvering equipment.

When Levi didn’t say anything, Hanji took the opportunity to break the silence.

“You have to take care of yourself.” They said as they twisted their hand clockwise, watching in awe as the needle started coming up on the other side of the wound. “We can’t have humanity’s best dying because of a tiny cut.”

Levi snorted, but it felt awfully _sadder_. As if there were a thousand things he wanted to say, but restrained himself.

“And how should I die, then?” Levi asked as he let his head fall back, shutting his eyes as he heard Hanji unlocking the needle driver and reattaching it near the tip of the needle.

Hanji thought about the answer. How could humanity’s strongest soldier die? To them, there was only one solution.

“Heroically.”

Levi snorted again, but this time, it was pure amusement.

“Shitty four-eyes, you should know by now that nobody in the survey corps dies like a hero.” Levi reminded them, eyes still closed. “We will all die shitting ourselves in front of those fucking titans.”

Hanji pulled on the thread, and released the needle. “Even Zackly?”

“Especially Zackly.” Levi answered. “Can you imagine? The great Darius Zackly, surrounded by crap.”

Hanji laughed, amused by the idea, and Levi opened his eyes to stare at them. With their left hand, they held the thread on the left side of the needle and wrapped it twice around the needle holder. Then, they opened it and grabbed the thread on the right side of the wound.

“But still, I meant what I said.” Hanji added, pulling the long part of the thread and watching as the part of it wrapped around the needle holder slid off. “I can’t see you dying any other way than like that. Like… sacrificing yourself for humanity or something.”

Levi hummed, thinking about it. Surely, he had dedicated his life to the survey corps, so wouldn’t dying for it be the perfect conclusion to his existence?

“What about you?” Levi asked, hissing as Hanji tightened things, making sure the tissue was touching. “How do you want to die?”

Hanji considered it. How did they want to die? Death was a constant variable in their world, and one that happened too often.

They knew that even Levi, who had the least chance of getting killed, had _at least once_ thought about his own death. Everybody around them died: their family, their comrades, their lovers, _everybody_.

Death spared no one, no matter how painful grief was. Death did not care for pain. Death only wanted more people to join her.

Hanji held the long end of the thread and wrapped it once around the needle driver clockwise, while they thought about the answer they could give.

“I know death is inevitable, but I’d like to avoid it.” Hanji announced as they slightly opened the needle driver and grabbed the short end of the thread, then pulled. “Or at least, have a painless death. I’m a bit soft.”

The captain nodded, understanding Hanji’s opinion, but not quite relating to it. He had been born in a world of violence, and he couldn’t see himself going out of this world in a non-violent way.

Brutality and bloodshed all the way.

With another overhand knot, Hanji finished their surgeon’s knot. “One thing for sure, I want to die before everyone else.” They confessed.

“Selfish.” Levi blurted out, looking at them. “So everybody else gets to grieve you but you don’t.”

“I know, it sounds lame.” Hanji admitted, tying another knot and cutting the excess thread. “But I want it to happen in a very long time. When we’re all very old and the titans are defeated.”

Levi laughed at the image of the entire survey corps living in a farm, retired and growing plants together. Hanji seemed thrilled by the idea.

Hanji moved a quarter-inch down the wound and repeated the same process over and over, until it was finally closed. Checking if the knots were all lined up on the same side, they wrapped the wound with a sterilized bandage slowly, brushing their fingers against Levi’s chest several times.

Which Hanji thought was the reason why he had been staring at them for a couple of minutes now, eyes unfocused yet mindful of where their hands touched him.

“Hey Hanji?” Levi finally asked when they were finally done, when the night was almost finished and the sun could be seen far away beneath the trees.

Hanji looked up, staring at Levi, and noticed that he _truly_ seemed exhausted. A bone-deep fatigue had infiltrated the captain, heavy on his body and burdensome on his mind. The dark circles under his eyes had grown even darker with time, and they noticed that his usual youthful face suddenly looked so _tired_ and _drained_.

“Promise you won’t die before me?”

“Can’t make promises I can’t keep.” Hanji answered, because as much as they would like to fulfill that promise just to soothe the captain’s worries, they _could not_ ensure it.

Life was too unpredictable to swear something such as their survival, for they knew they could die at any moment.

Besides, if they could choose, they would die _before_ Levi, for the reason Levi mentioned above.

“Right.” Levi replied, standing up. Moving his arm twice, he judged Hanji’s work and didn’t complain. Then he walked away from the desk, about to leave the room, before Hanji stopped him.

“Are you going back to your room shirtless?” They asked.

“Do you have a problem with that?”

Hanji sighed, and stood up as well. They opened an old cupboard and searched for something.

“Ah really, all this fuss about me and my incapacity to care properly about myself when you’re exactly the same, this is truly the pot calling the kettle black, the audacity, honestly...”

Levi didn’t have the energy to stop their rant, therefore he simply waited until they were done.

After a couple of seconds, Hanji walked towards them, and draped a black vest around his shoulders, careful about not reopening his wound.

“Here. Take this.”

“What’s that?” Levi blurted out.

“To replace your fancy cravat.” Hanji replied with a smile. “Have a fancy jacket!”

This actually _managed_ to make Levi smile, or at least, to make the corners of his mouth move upwards.

Which was a lot.

“You already gave me your jacket.” Levi reminded them. “Ages ago.”

“Yeah but it’s an old one, and you’re gonna get cold if you walk back to your room without a shirt on. Besides, this one’s brand new.”

Levi furrowed his brows. “Why don’t you keep it, then?”

Hanji’s hands found their way to the hem of the jacket, tracing the outline with their fingers, and softly brushing against Levi’s chest at least twice.

Levi did not wince. His breath, however, hitched.

Hanji looked at him with the warmest smile ever, brown eye suddenly prettier with the candlelight reflected in it.

“It suits you better.”

Levi prayed the burning sensation in his cheeks was not a goddamn _blush_.

“Now go rest.” Hanji stated. “Doctor’s orders.”

Levi smirked, turning around to finally leave the room. “You’re not even a doctor.” He argued, and Hanji tossed a pencil from their desk towards Levi’s face, which he easily dodged because _Hanji was so bad at throwing_ _now_ _._

“I’ll go check on you in a couple of hours.” Hanji announced firmly. “If you’re not sleeping on your day off, I’ll hit you until you sleep.”

The threat had, unsurprisingly, the opposite effect that Hanji wanted. Levi walked out of the room and waved goodbye from behind.

“Yeah sure, good night.” the captain said with the least convinced voice Hanji had ever heard.

“That damned midget.” Hanji muttered under their breath, a smile on their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was long but at least i learned how to close a wound yay
> 
> and as you can tell no one's proofreading this + english isn't my mother tongue SO if u spot any mistakes PLEASE tell me!! also thank u for ur comments <3


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 115 OF SNK !!!!!!!!!

Reflexes and instinct were a soldier’s best allies. For the members of the survey corps, those two parameters could either kill you or save your life.

Hanji, despite their recklessness, had great reflexes.

So when they saw the survey corps cloak in the bushes and the body with it, their reflex was to abandon their horse and come to the person’s rescue, despite the danger of their act. Ignoring the yeagerists’ screams, they rushed through the grass, grabbing the person by the shoulders as they begged _whoever was listening to them_ to save _at least_ one of their men.

Thing is, Hanji was aware of the possibility that the person _could_ be Levi. They weren’t that far from the place Zeke was held into custody with Levi and they knew that flash of lightening was a thunder spear, despite what they had told Floch just a few minutes before.

In the span of two seconds, Hanji thought about it as they sprinted towards the body.

There was only one person there. The carthorse had been utterly destroyed, with nobody inside of it. The ruckus caused by the lightening spear must have been loud enough for Levi to hear.

So if Levi was not here already to assess the damage and if he had not sent a couple of soldiers to check, then it could only mean one thing.

Levi was the person in the bushes.

Hanji was rational. They were aware that this was the only logical deduction.

And yet, they prayed it wasn’t him. ~~Humanity~~ Eldia could not lose him. The remnants of the survey corps could not lose him. _Hanji could not lose him_ , not now, when everything was uncertain and he had been the _only_ _fucking stable variable_ in their miserable life.

When the kids in the 104th learned the truth about their world, about their condition, and about what they were about to face, they had each other to lean on. Every theory, every doubt, they could share it together.

Hanji, well, they had Levi.

Sure, Onyankopon helped them understand the complexity of the world they lived in, but he did not help Hanji _cope_ _with it_.

Levi did.

Onyankopon could not understand how the devils from Paradis Island felt, after a hundred years of blissful ignorance. Levi, who had grown up and lived in the same world as Hanji, completely grasped the feeling. Thus, the two veterans grew even closer, and slowly, it became them versus the rest of the world.

When he had asked them not to die before him, they had answered that they could not promise such a thing. What Hanji had hoped, however, was that Levi _would_ die after them.

It was highly possible. Out of everyone in Eldia, he probably had the longest life span, given how strong and resistant he was. The Ackermans, byproducts of titan science, were gifted with extraordinary combat abilities.

And when they grabbed the soldier’s shoulders and held him in their arms, they prayed he had regenerative abilities, too.

“Hey! are you alive?!” Hanji yelled, and when they finally saw the soldier’s state, they gasped.

His face looked awful. Definitely too bloody to their taste. Some shrapnel had gotten inside his left cheek and was currently sticking out. There was a gash that crossed his right eyelid and went down to his chin, splitting his lip.

Hanji could not help it. A single word was muttered.

“Levi?”

No answer.

_Levi, please._

When they rested their hand on his shoulder, holding the back of Levi’s head with their other hand, they _swore_ they felt him move.

Then, a blue eye was slightly cracked open, staring back at Hanji with an expression devoid of anything. No fear, no happiness. Nothing.

Hanji figured out the pain must have numbed him, somehow.

Still, they had to act fast. Floch and the others were meters away, and though Hanji was sure they had not been able to see Levi open his eye, they knew the yeagerists would try to make sure humanity’s best was _indeed_ dead.

Right when they thought about that, Floch spoke.

“I don’t know what happened here, but...” Floch began. “Our biggest threat, covered in his own blood.”

_His own blood?_

Ah, yes. The blood was not evaporating. Which meant that it was Levi’s and not a titan’s.

_How did I not notice this?_

Hanji was the best placed person to know about titan blood, given how often they had experimented with it. Yet automatically, their brain had assumed the blood on Levi’s skin belonged to a titan.

As if their brain was trying to _fool_ them into thinking that Levi was better than he seemed.

_Could their feelings be clouding their judgment?_

_No, no way,_ Hanji thought, though it was _exactly_ the case.

“I’ll send a shot through his head.” Someone suggested from behind them, and Hanji outright froze.

_Quick, Hanji, think. Save the midget._

“He’s dead.” They stated while they kept staring at Levi. The truth was that they could not trust their own facial expression. Hanji _knew_ it could hint at the fact that they were lying.

 _Oh, they were fucked_. If they were both coming out of this alive, Levi was _so_ fucked. No one caused Hanji to lose their cool and remained _unharmed_.

“He must have been hit by a thunder spear explosion from close range.” Hanji lied, hoping Floch would believe them. “I saw something similar in a training accident. His organs are in even worse shape than he looks. He died immediately.”

“I know how to take a pulse.” Floch stated. “Let me see him.”

Hanji glared daggers at the young man who, a few years before, was saved _by Lev_ _i_ in Shiganshina. Oh, if Levi was strong enough, he’d completely wreck the boy.

They hoped the anger in their eyes would pass as something a soldier refusing to let the corpse of their comrade be touched by the enemy would do.

And thankfully, Floch was distracted by a soldier behind them yelling about how there was something strange about a titan. Still holding Levi against them, Hanji looked in the direction where the yeagerists were screaming.

“Is it disappearing? Did it die?” Floch asked.

“No...” Hanji muttered, amazed by the phenomenon. If they were in their lab and _if Levi wasn’t half_ _dead_ _in their arms_ , they would have loved to investigate it further. “They don’t normally suck steam into themselves when they disappear...”

Floch and the others held their guns towards the titan, ready to fire if anything went wrong.

When Zeke came out of the titan, however that was possible, Hanji was _horrified_.

The man was responsible for all this mess and even _Levi_ had not been able to finish him off. Of course Zeke would want to finally kill Levi for good.

Hanji tightened their grasp on Levi without even realizing it. Their gaze grew from terrified to determined in a single second.

Because when they had stared at Levi when they had found him, they had seen much more than an injured soldier.

They had seen a friend, a comrade, _something more that they can’t quite name_ , being denied of the opportunity to live a long life. They had seen unfairness and _knew_ this was _wrong_.

Ages ago, they had claimed Levi had to die heroically. It was the only closure to his existence they could imagine and _this was not it_.

Thus, they took the decision to save him.

For the future they had once joked about, in an old farm growing vegetables together, Hanji jumped in the river, dragging Levi along with them.

Cold water hit their body as painfully as a bullet did.

_Or maybe a bullet actually hit them._

Hanji grabbed Levi tighter against them, and their right eye saw bullets dancing around them in the water.

The current was strong, and Hanji did not try to fight it.

They did not try to fight darkness either when it surrounded their vision.

 

Hanji woke up to the sweet sound of water flowing around them.

What was not sweet, however, was how water soaked their clothes.

With a grunt, they sat up and wiped their face. Somehow, they had ended up on the riverbank, but Hanji was unable to tell _where_ exactly. The night had fallen, and they were freezing.

Then, they realized.

_Levi!_

Standing up was much more painful than they’d have imagined. Blood oozed from the gunshot wound in their leg, but Hanji shrugged it off.

_He can’t be far. Hopefully._

Levi actually wasn’t that far. He had also ended up on the riverbank fifteen meters from where Hanji was. After painfully making their way to Levi, Hanji grabbed him by the armpits as carefully as they could, and dragged him away from the water.

Getting him to lie down without opening his wounds even more was a hassle.

Getting a hold on their emotions was a hassle, too.

“There we go.” Hanji said out loud, mostly to reassure themselves.

Hanji knelt down in front of him, and put their hand above his mouth to check if he was breathing.

Which turned out to be hard because of the shakiness of their limbs (which was because of the cold, Hanji reassured themselves, and not because _they were scared to death because how do I save Levi with no outside help and nowhere to go and he needs to be healed but_ _we can’t move around because they might be near and-_ )

_Shit._

That was when they realized they had not paid attention to their surroundings at all.

And there was a clear reason for that: their priority at the moment was _Levi_.

 _Levi’s health_ , Hanji corrected their thoughts.

It was night, but when they had jumped into the river, it was still day. Which meant that several hours had passed, and yet the yeagerists had not found them.

Hanji hoped they had given up.

The riverbank they were on was surrounded by trees, but if Zeke’s men checked the area, they would have found them. They were not really hidden in any way, therefore Hanji guessed something more important must have grabbed Zeke’s attention.

Still, they were wary.

Hanji put their ear on Levi’s chest, silently praying for _that familiar heartbeat to show up._

When Hanji had found him, the top of his body was out of the water, his _short_ legs moving in tandem with the current. According to their deduction, Levi must not have spent more than a couple of minutes underwater, just like they did. Hanji briefly remembered pulling him to the surface.

The sound finally came after a couple of seconds of silence.

Levi coughed right after, spitting salt water in front of him, and it was very hard for Hanji not to outright hug him tight.

Because it would hurt him and also because he would send them flying away with a kick, despite how wounded he was.

Instead, Hanji settled for a comforting hand on his back to help him turn over and cough the rest of the water out of his lungs.

Levi flinched. His injured hand searched for his blade, but when he noticed it was actually Hanji at his side, he sighed in _relief_.

Hanji, delighted to be a source of reassurance for the captain, allowed themselves to sit with him, at least for a couple of seconds.

For a couple of seconds, Hanji forgot their recent near-death experience, and _only looked at Levi._

It felt awful to say, but vulnerability looked good on Levi. Seeing him bloody and injured that way gave Hanji the impression that they were _both_ human, and that the two of them, though they could survive on their own, needed _each other_ , sometimes.

It was not an honor, but more of a privilege, to be allowed near humanity’s best when he was this weak. Hanji knew they did not care about appearing frail in front of other people, whether it was their superiors or their subordinates. Levi, however, made it his mission to seem strong at any moment of the day.

To other people, humanity’s best was like a pillar of strength. An unmovable fortress, who stood against all their enemies, no matter who they were.

_How foolish they were._

Yes, Levi was insanely strong. But sadly, in this world they still knew so little about, he was not the strongest.

But Hanji knew they could be there for him whenever he needed them, and Levi was aware of that.

Thus, when Hanji checked on his injuries without saying a word, Levi let them do.

He would have minded the invasion of personal space if it was anyone else, but it was _Hanji_.

Hanji was special, in all meanings of the term. Besides, Levi had grown to accept the fact that _personal space did not exist in Hanji’s mind._

Experienced hands touched his jaw with utter care, assessing the damage. While they did that, Levi’s eyes wandered on the body in front of them, that they had looked at so often.

Hanji had lost their eye-patch, and he was able to see the nasty scar on their eyelid, still there after so many years. Their ponytail was ruined as well, _even more than usual_ , and their hair fell on their shoulders, drops of water rolling down to their already soaked shirt. As if they weren’t injured enough, they had lost their glasses, and Levi knew they couldn’t see much without _those damn glasses_.

Hanji was so focused on Levi’s injuries that they did not notice when Levi called them once, then twice.

Levi blamed it on his croaky voice. He tried again, as loud as he could.

“Hanji.”

“Huh?” They blurted out, letting go of Levi’s jaw, so _close_ that they could feel the captain’s ragged breath against their skin.

Levi, suddenly aware that he had never been so close to Hanji, _swallowed_.

“You’ve been shot.” He finally managed to say, to which Hanji chuckled.

“Ah, this?” Hanji asked as they pointed to the torn part of their pants. “It’s nothing compared to what you have. It barely grazed me.”

Levi kept his rant to himself for now, definitely aware that Hanji would not listen to him if he insisted on the matter.

“Isn’t it funny how when we’re both bleeding, it’s always the two of us, together, and nobody else?” Hanji noticed as they paused for a bit, probably trying to get Levi to remain conscious by making him talk.

The captain almost snorted. “A great number of people saw me bleeding earlier, if I remember correctly.” he commented.

If Levi's health had been better, Hanji would have punched him in the arm. “I know, idiot. I mean… whenever it’s just us two, we’re either bleeding or in pain.” Hanji added.

“You’re the scientist.” Levi reminded them. “Haven’t you thought about a theory that could explain it?”

And of course, Hanji had. However, it lacked scientific terms. Hanji blamed it on their bond, their closeness and easiness to be around the other. For that reason, the two of them were not bothered about appearing weak in front of each other. There was an unspoken rule of silence and most importantly, of non-judgmental help. When Hanji stormed up in Levi’s room, fists bloody and shaking, Levi would not ask what had happened. Instead, he would clean the injuries and carefully wrap their hands in gauze. On the other hand, while Hanji helped Levi with his battle wounds, they would not ask about the scars on his body. It was a mutual agreement that had never been stated.

It simply _was_.

“I did, actually.” Hanji stated as put their chin in their hand. “But I want to hear your theory.”

“I think… fate likes to make us suffer. Together.” Levi replied.

Hanji laughed. “How unfortunate we are.”

Levi did not comment on what Hanji had said. Instead, he waited as they finished their thing, hissing as they discovered more and more shrapnel on his body. They knew it needed some stitching, but there was nothing they could do at the moment.

_If they found a shelter, perhaps…_

An idea flashed inside Hanji’s mind.

Yes, this was the perfect place. Perhaps a bit far, but if they left now, they could be there in the morning.

“Can you walk?” Hanji finally asked as they helped Levi sit up.

Levi snorted, and found out it hurt _like hell_. “With help, yeah. I feel like shit, Hanji.”

Hanji automatically ran a comforting hand up and down his forearm while they looked at their surroundings. “I’m guessing Zeke must have been held up by something more important than us. They should have found us, if they had checked the riverbank. We can move for now, but we have to be cautious.”

“He won’t let go of me that easily.” Levi added, eyes _glued_ to their hand on his arm, and Hanji agreed.

Levi had almost killed him twice. _Third time’s the charm, is it what they say?_

They would get their revenge, for Erwin, for Moblit, and all the others who had died because of him. But they had to take their time, both of them. Levi had to heal, and Hanji had to find a way to help him and contact the others without getting caught.

With a grunt, Hanji crouched in front of Levi, their back facing him. Levi stared at them, puzzled.

“I’ll carry you. Come on.” Hanji ordered.

“No you won’t.”

Hanji sighed. _How stubborn he could be_. “Are you planning to walk then? Hop on my back now.”

“You’re wounded too, idiot.”

“So? We have to move. Now.” Hanji retorted, to which Levi sighed.

“You should leave me here and run away. Find a horse, warn the others of what happened and-”

“This is the worst plan ever.” Hanji commented, standing back up. “Like hell I’m letting you here!”

Levi breathed in and out, the gesture hurting him more than it should have. After a couple of seconds, he finally spoke. “I’m beat, Hanji.” he confessed. “Even if you manage to get me somewhere, I’ll take months, perhaps years to heal. And the brats are not going to wait for me. Neither will the rest of the world.”

“Cut that shit. You’re not doing this to me.” Hanji fumed, which was unusual of the commander. They rarely got angry.

But when they did, god, even _Levi_ was scared.

“God, you’re insufferable.” He muttered.

“And you’re being dramatic.” Hanji retorted. “We can do it, Levi. I’m not that hurt. But you are, and you need to get to a safe house as quickly as possible.”

“You’re bleeding from so many places, for fuck’s sake!” Levi swore. “You need to get patched up!”

“I can do that after I get you to safety!” Hanji snapped. “We’re wasting time here, Zeke’s men could be very near and we’re busy talking about something that should not be discussed!”

Levi sighed. “They’re after me, not you. You go away. I’ll wait for you.”

He was really trying his best not to lash out at Hanji for being _so fucking stubborn_ and not listening to him.

Hanji, however, was having none of it.

“Ages ago you said you were going wherever I was going, right?” Hanji reminded him of his promise, years ago in their office, when it was just the two of them together and things were far better than they were now. “So now you own up to what you said and you come with me.”

“Don’t you use my own words against me to make me agree to your foolish plan.” Levi grunted as he got up. “You need to save your own skin first. You can’t waste your energy carrying a burden like me.”

Hanji knew _exactly_ what this was.

All this talk about being a burden, about not being able to recover, it didn’t mean anything.

It was so absurd coming from Levi that Hanji simply _knew_ he didn’t mean what he thought.

The truth was that Levi truly feared for _their_ life, feared for _their_ survival, and he did not want to risk exposing Hanji to even more danger than they had already been exposed to. Thus, he tried to convince Hanji that he could not move, that it was worthless trying to save him.

_But of course, the stupid four-eyes never listened to what he said, did they?_

Standing up was actually a harder task than Levi would have imagined. Barely seconds after he had managed to get up, he wobbled, and would have fallen back to the ground if it weren’t for Hanji quickly grabbing him by the waist, maintaining him upright.

“See? I can’t even stand on my own.” Levi pointed out. “Leave me here, Hanji. I’ll be fine, I promise. I won’t even move until you’re back.”

“I’m not going without you!” Hanji spat back, hands tight around his ribs to support him.

Levi bit his lip, staring at the river flowing on their right. He was about to reply something when he heard the smallest of whimpers, followed by a weak, yet clear mutter.

“I’m not going without you...” Hanji repeated, head down and voice lower than usual, heavy with doubt and _worry_.

Because if Levi could allow himself to be weak and bloody in front of them, Hanji could allow themselves to express their fears.

And they did. Grabbing a fistful of Levi’s shirt, they turned their face away as tears began rolling down their cheeks, but Levi lifted his uninjured hand to rest it on their jaw, wiping their tears away with his thumb.

“Hanji, shit.” Levi muttered, patting their head the best he could without opening his wounds even more. “Hanji. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were dead.” Hanji cried against his shoulder. “You looked so bad and-”

“I won’t do it again.” Levi promised. “I’m sorry.”

Hanji did not speak anymore. For the minutes (perhaps hours, who knew) that followed, the two veterans remained pressed against the other, and a comfortable silence fell over them. Words were not necessary for them. They never were.

After a while, Hanji removed their head from Levi’s shoulder and dried their tears.

“If you ever pull that shit on me again, I’m throwing all your tea away.” Hanji joked.

Levi, however, didn’t laugh. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me, Ackerman.”

Levi did not reply. He knew Hanji was watching him from now on, and that they were _actually_ capable of doing that. _Don’t tempt the devil, is that how the saying goes?_ Probably not, but Levi simply decided he would create an idiom that could be applied to Hanji's madness.

“About how we’re gonna make it to our shelter…” Hanji began, and before Levi could say anything, they spoke again. “How about a compromise?”

“I’m listening.”

“You lean on my shoulder as we walk.” Hanji suggested.

“Sounds alright.” Levi admitted. His legs were hurting him more than ever, and he was fighting hard not to doze off at the moment. “So, your plan, commander?”

Hanji tilted their head, and Levi narrowed their eyes. When the two realized something strange had been said, Hanji opened their mouth to comment on it. “I don’t remember you ever calling me like that.”

“What, do you prefer ‘four eyes’?” Levi argued.

“No, commander is fine.” Hanji laughed. “And as to our plan, I have the perfect hideout. If I’m not mistaken…” They paused to gaze up at the stars, seemingly finding out where they were.

 _Of course_ Hanji would know how to find their way thanks to the _god damn stars_. _Fucking four eyes. Amazes me everyday_ , Levi thought.

“It should be about 6 miles away from here.” They added, but Levi was not listening anymore. Instead, his eyes were glued to the commander’s lips for an unknown reason he could not explain.

_Or could he?_

But even if he had tried to explain it, it was too late. Hanji had turned their head to look at Levi, furrowed brows and confusion in their brown eye.

“What’s wrong?”

_Quick, Levi. Think of an excuse. Anything._

“Blood.” He muttered. “There’s… blood. On your forehead.”

“Ah, I must have hit a rock while we were in the river.” Hanji informed him, not even aware that Levi had _not_ been staring at his _forehead_. “Anyway, it’s a small cabin I’ve had my subordinates build near Historia’s farm just in case something went wrong.”

Levi sighed. Even on the brink of unconsciousness, he could recognize how fishy it sounded. “You realize how perfect it sounds, right?”

“I know right!” Hanji exclaimed, happy that things were finally going their way.

Levi groaned. “Hanji. That’s _exactly_ the issue. They will know we’re there.”

“Not if they’re not searching for us.” Hanji replied. “Trust me, Levi. We have no other option.”

The captain considered it. After a few seconds, he nodded.

“I trust you.”

“Good. Now let’s get going.”

Once Levi’s arm was carefully settled around Hanji’s shoulders and Hanji’s arm was wrapped around his waist, they started moving.

Levi did not pay attention to where they went at all, though. His head moved back and forth against Hanji’s shoulder, and he regularly switched between light sleep and barely being conscious. Hanji frequently checked if he was awake by saying his name, to which Levi answered with a grunt when he could.

At some point, Hanji stopped. The cabin was less than half a mile away, but in front of them stood a field illuminated by thousands of fireflies, and they thought they deserved a little break.

“Still with me?” Hanji asked, and a couple of seconds later, the familiar grunt came. “Look.”

Levi sighed against Hanji’s neck, and Hanji _swore_ they _did_ _not_ shudder.

“What is it?” Levi muttered, finally moving his head to look at whatever had grabbed Hanji’s attention.

“The fireflies.” Hanji stated. “They look beautiful.”

And they probably were, Levi thought.

Some sights were truly beautiful. Whether it was a land made of ice, fields of sand spread wide, an endless body of saltwater, a field of fireflies or a person, there were things you wished to engrave in your memories forever.

What Levi saw was one of _these_ sights.

“Stunning, indeed.” Levi replied.

Hanji chuckled.

Little did Hanji know that Levi was not staring at the fireflies, but at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments on this..... words cannot convey my gratitude..... all your comments LITERALLY made my day aaaaah
> 
> i had planned to make this chapter A LOT longer but the part i added right after the end felt,,,, wrong so here u go lol i'm sorry about what you just read but ayyy i said 4 chapters so i actually have to publish the fourth chapter don't i,,,, this is so dumb because i actually had the idea of rewriting this scene when chapter 115 came out (so like in february???) but it ended up being the chapter i disliked writing the most lol it feels too ooc for me but at least it is DONE and i can. toss it away. and forget it. forever. 
> 
> also THE ENDING. IS IT UNDERSTANDABLE. what levi was staring at (more like who). because i just reread it again and im not sure it’s clear bc of the pronouns. someone help me
> 
> it is 4am i am TOO lazy to check for mistakes atm so hmu if you find any haha
> 
> peace i might write something professor layton inspired next (don't ask me why, just don't) with levihan so if u see it appear in the tags in a couple of weeks,,,, it's ya girl gaiarcane again lol


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